Beach Buzz

Living near the equator has many benefits. Here are few:
 -The sun rises and sets at about the same time every day. For a person who appreciates routine, I like knowing when the sun will rise and set. We don't have to deal with daylight savings because... well we just don't, which is another perk of living here.
-It's summer all year round. This can become difficult and confusing when friends in America are posting photos of snow, Starbucks holiday flavors, and scarves.
-Because it's hot all year round, we can go to the most beautiful beaches in the entire world anytime.

I say that, and honestly, the last time Josh and I went to the beach may have been at least a year and half ago. We finally got to a point where we could make it through the day without having to pump 5 bazillion times, and she could eat a variety of solid foods. We decided that it would be best if went to a beach we could drive to, so we have the option to leave whenever we wanted- baby melts down, parents melt down...

Some sweet friends joined us for the day. It turned out to be a very busy day at the beach. Many people had the same brilliant idea that we did! So there was a crowd for much of the day. I hope the photos will tell the story better than I can.

First time touching sand

We blinked, and she ate it.

 

First time in the ocean

A little afraid of the waves

During the day she ate a TON of sand.

 

Made some new friends

 

 

Sweet friends

Lying in a hammock. She probably would have slept, but we wanted the
nap to happen in the car.

 

Fan club. After the 100th photo I have a hard time staying
polite, so I walk away.

Kate ate a massive amount of sand. There's just no way to keep her from shoving it in her mouth, especially when there is so much of it around. Many people would make comments before our beach trip of the type of poo she would have afterwards. In their mind perhaps that was funny, but in my mind I wanted to do everything possible to avoid this horrific poos that were going to happen. After experiencing the post-beach poo, I want to go back! Post-beach poos are so easy to clean up.

I know maybe this isn't the place to talk about such things, but I just want to remind myself that often times what other say that spark fear or anxiety in me turn out to be small, small things with no reason for worry.

Lost and Found

Think back to your childhood. What was something that went with you wherever you went? What was something that you always had in bed with you when it was time to go to sleep? Maybe some of you never had something like that. Maybe some of us STILL have something special like that. For me, it's a quilt that my Little Grandma made me when I was a young girl. I'm not even sure how old I was when she gave it to me. That quilt has been to every country/state/church camp/college dorm room/house/road trip/airplane ride/hospital I've ever been to! The only person I will share that quilt with is Kate... and I haven't had to do that yet and [thankfully] she hasn't asked!

Kate has Ms. Cow. Ms. Cow was given to her by Big Grandma (aka Big G or Big Maw). Ms. Cow was a friend to Kate as she hung out in her butterfly chair bouncing away. She kept Kate company while drinking milk. She would roll around on the floor with Kate during tummy time. She was even lucky enough to get some sweet bedtime snuggles in. Ms. Cow even helped Kate struggle through jetlag by blocking out the sun so Kate could sleep! I mean, seriously, what a friend!

 

Then it happened.

 

When we returned from Singapore.

 

It happened.

 

Where is she? Where is Ms. Cow?

 

I think I was more upset than Kate. Honestly, I don't think she even noticed Ms. Cow was missing. We put out a BOLO (Be On the Look Out) for Ms. Cow. We asked our helper to keep an eye out too. Nothing. She was no where to be found. I thought we would have to ask for a second Ms. Cow to replace the first. So, I grieved the loss of Ms. Cow.

 

Then it happened.

 

Months later...

 

When I was changing the sheets on Kate's bed.

 

It happened.

 

A soft pink and white blanket thing peeked out at me from underneath the mattress.

 

Could it be??!!

 

It was! It was her! I grabbed her and called sweet Kate into her room. That reunion of two old friends was nothing short of beautiful. Kate's eyes LIT up. She grabbed her friend around the neck and held onto her. My Momma heart knows that kind of hug- you know, the hug between two loved ones who haven't seen each other in a long while, you never want to let go. Kate then took Ms. Cow on a quick tour to introduce her to all the changes that had happened while she was away. Kate was thrilled to have her sahabat (Indonesian for close friend) back. The two have been inseparable since. Ms. Cow normally stays in Kate's bed and anticipates naptimes and bedtime, but often Kate will break her out and the two explore the house together.

 

 

I know it's something small, but it was special to find Ms. Cow. So she was once lost, but now is found!

 



Helper Tales

One of the “perks” (I say that but there’s a TON of responsibility coupled with this perk as well…) of living in Indonesia is having a house helper. This helper lightens the load of a stressful new world. In a world where there is no dryer, the floor constantly needs to be swept and mopped, and the best place to buy produce is at the open air market (which sounds dreamy if you support local growers/farmer markets, but the reality of the pasar leaves much to be desired) your house helper will help keep you sane. However in some cases, the house helper will have a role in you going crazy. I could continue, but that is not the topic of this post today.

At the beginning of October, our helper announced that she and her three kids were going to be reunited with her husband in a different city on the other side of the province. I was so excited for her! It had been three years since they had last seen him. Now these babies were going to get be with their daddy. It’s a beautiful thing. She brought a friend to replace her as our helper. That friend’s older brother had a stroke and she needed to help at her home. Yes, family first. I told her. Another friend brought over a perspective house helper, who really seemed like she would be perfect. She went straight to Kate, who happily sat in her lap. However, this woman’s husband didn’t want her working outside of the home. So here we are. Tomorrow will be November and we haven’t had a helper for almost a month. We’re making it, but again this is not the topic of this post.

Before we went back to America to officially meet Baby Kate face to face, we had a wonderful, hard working, faithful helper named Ibu Misty. She was a Muslim woman who grew up in Java and moved to Papua with her husband, who is a taxi driver and helps in a local mechanic shop.  A few months before we left, Misty was bit by the neighbor’s dog and took a long time to recover. Two weeks before we left for America, she suggested she take some time off to rest and recover. When we returned to Papua in March, Misty was in Java. When I got word that she had returned, I also got word that she started working for another family from Java.

I was really starting to wonder about this house helper situation. Is it me? Am I asking too much? Am I paying too little? Should I talk more? Should I just get out of the way and let them work? It was easy to take other’s personal situations and make them about me- Did that really happen or do they just not want to work here? Left unchecked these thoughts can lead one into a dark, sad place. In the middle of this internal fight with myself, two previous helpers randomly called to see if they could come by and visit.

One sweet lady worked for us while we were temporarily staying in a colleague’s house. She stopped by on Saturday morning, and hot on her trail was Ibu Misty and her family. That was the first time I had seen Misty since our return, and it was her first time to meet Kate. Kate lit up when she saw and heard Ibu Misty’s voice. She smiled and walked all around the room laughing. I told Misty that Kate remembered her voice from when I was pregnant with her, and we all laughed. It was so nice to visit with these two women, both of whom I consider to be friends. Tears came to my eyes with the joy that was being stored up in my heart. These two visits, although short, were reminders that it’s not me. It was medicine that reached those dark, sad places and pulled back the curtains and shed some light in there. It was soooooooooo good to hug Misty’s neck, to see how big her grandson was getting, and to visit with her sweet daughters.

 

We miss her.

A Momma's Cry

Most days after 4 PM, Kate and I go outside to visit with the neighborhood kids. If we aren't out by 4:30 and the gate is closed, the kids will stand in the street calling Kate's name. If the gate is open, they come to the front door and sit at the window and call her name. Kate's face lights up when she hears her friends calling her name. She runs to the window and will "talk" back to them. I'll grab my shoes, and we head outside to visit.

The girl next door and her brother take off with Kate to play- to help her walk around and the brother always makes her laugh. I stay and chat with the other mommas. Often I'm just there, not really understanding the topic of conversation. Sometimes I join in, and the pace of the conversation slows waaaaaay down to a speed that I can handle. It's not uncommon for strangers to stop and say hi to Kate or ask for a photo- she doesn't seem to mind the extra attention.

One day while out playing with the kids on the cement place where they ride their bikes, I was stopped by a young momma named Agnes. Agnes lives in our neighborhood, but I had never seen her before. She asked about Kate's age. As we began to share briefly about our babies, I could hear her heart's cry. Her baby, who at that time was 3 months old, was not eating or sleeping well. This poor momma wanted sleep and a baby who didn't cry all night long. The "pre-Kate" Amber didn't understand the significance of the term "all night", but "post-Kate" Amber who has travelled internationally with a young baby now resonates and empathizes with that term. Agnes was concerned that her baby wasn't nursing well and wasn't getting enough food to eat. My momma's heart ached for her. So, I contacted my friend, Fiona, who is a midwife here. Fiona was the first person to catch a glimpse of Kate's heartbeat, which eventually capture the rhythm of my own heartbeat. Fiona cares about mommas and babies, so I knew to contact her. We arranged a date with Agnes to come visit her and see how we could help, and by "we" I really mean Fiona.

We were welcomed into their home and visited with a hard working momma who entrusted her baby with a grandma during the day. They were concerned because after the baby would eat, he would still cry. They were unsure if this was due to still being hungry or having an upset tummy. He cries during the night, and they were unsure why. Fiona urged them to hold the baby and feed the baby when he cries. We tried to explain the term "colic" in Indonesian... the dictionary translator app didn't really help in this situation. The baby was actually healthy- he looked quite "healthy" to me, but Fiona encouraged sweet Agnes that her baby was healthy. Fiona calmed that anxious momma's heart with her gently words but firm instructions. She educated Agnes and her momma about signals that babies give when they're tired and the importance of holding a baby to comfort them when they cry. I realized then how fortunate I was to have loads of books to read, websites to visit, or doctors to ask questions about Kate's development when she was inside me or how do I feed her solid foods or WHY does she stick EVERYTHING in her mouth? Women here have very little to no access to common information.

We gave Agnes goat's milk and gas drops for her baby to drink. A few days later, Agnes said her baby was sleeping better and didn't seem to have an upset tummy. That must mean that Agnes is sleeping better too.

Baby Kate has opened up many doors, but so far that has been the most personal one.

Agnes and Fiona

Agnes and Fiona

Agnes, Grandmomma, and Baby

This shot and many like it were taken by the Grandma who had never used a camera like that before!

Agnes, Amber, and Happy Babies

First Birthday Pressure

Hi, my name is Amber. I live in a country that celebrates with a HUGE party the first year of life. Restaurants are rented out, sound systems are set up, cakes are made, goodie bags are given, families go all. out. Presents are given to the guests.

Hi, my name is Amber. I am from a country that celebrates life with small get togethers with close friends and family. Presents are given to the birthday boy/girl. We have cake, we sing a song, and the kids play. You can find everything you need at Walmart.

So here I am. The Amber who lives next door to people who call out to Kate every afternoon to play. The Amber who wants to show them I care about them by including them in my life. But I find I'm also the Amber who doesn't know how to throw a big party for a one year old, who won't remember it but I'm sure will enjoy the photos. I'm the Amber who wants things to be easy and with little or no hassle or effort.

It's hard to believe that Baby Kate will be a year old next weekend. It all seems like it was yesterday, but then when I think of yesterday I never thought I'd get to today- not sure if that makes sense. Some days went by so quickly, other days (and some nights) dragged on for what seemed like eternity. She's a sweet girl. She is constantly laughing, exploring, and what blesses my heart to no end is the way she'll reach out to a light skinned Indonesian or a dark skinned Papuan. That makes my heart overflow with joy to the point where it wells up and starts to spill out of my eyes! She doesn't see color or differences, she sees people and she loves them. She doesn't judge them. Who knew how a hard faced person could crack a huge smile because of the love of a small girl. It's beautiful.

So we'll celebrate. We'll celebrate who God is creating Kate to be, how He has formed her and shaped her since before we knew her, and we'll celebrate with friends, family (from far away), and neighbors. Will it look like either culture expects? Probably not. Am I okay with that? Yes. I'm cutting myself some slack here. The pressure I'm feeling to be that creative mommy who can post ridiculous photos to pinterest to spark creativity in someone else- I just need to accept the reality that that illusion isn't me, and most likely never will be me.

I need to be free to love Josh, Kate, and those around me in a way that I'm capable of doing, not living beneath the burden that this world or culture expects of me.

Pictures to come later of this celebration of 1 year.

Literacy Day

In September Papua joined in celebrating International Literacy Day.

In an article entitled "Economic and social indicators in West Papua", Jim Elmslie said this about the literacy rate in Papua: "Literacy is also very poor – the worst in Indonesia. In the 15-44 years age group Papua province had an illiteracy rate of 34.83% in 2011, the latest figures available. This is against a national average of just 2.30%. The next worst province was Sulawesi Barat which had an illiteracy rate of 6.49%. The 15 plus years age group fared no better; again the worst in the nation by a huge margin which is still growing: in 2003 the illiteracy rate was 25.54 but by 2011 it had leapt up to 35.92%. This clearly indicates that the Indonesian educational system is failing the West Papuans. Without education and basic literacy individuals are doomed to entrenched poverty."

Some women that I have high respect for led the way in planning and preparing for the big day. It was an interesting way things unfolded. Their previous location was unavailable and the celebration was relocated to a local field. This field is a memorial to a Papuan who was a proponent for Papuan independence. In the afternoons this field is used for local soccer teams to practice.

After a week of rain, and much prayers, God blessed us with no rain for the day of the festival. The local military donated tents and chairs and tables were set up as well. Local ministries set up booths to promote the work they are apart of. Young children enjoyed crafts and games that taught them letters and numbers. Adults enjoyed the challenge of tangrams ( What is a Tangram? ).

Josh, Kate, and I met during a lunch hour to stroll through the celebration. We didn't stay long, due to the heat and feeding a hungry little one. We saw people with smiles on their faces. Free books were being distributed. Translated versions of portions of the New Testament were being loaded to cell phones, allowing access to the Bible wherever they are! Local women were selling their handmade goods. It was encouraging to see people having fun while learning about literacy.

Dusting Off the Keyboard

Wow it's been a while since I last posted. I'm going to confess the reason why, so I can stop carrying around the load of guilt that I'm not doing enough to communicate with you about life in Papua. In March I enrolled in an online Master's Program through the University of Texas at Arlington. The degree is in Curriculum and Instruction in Mathematics. The program lasts about a year and a half. I take one class at a time. Each class lasts five weeks. So for five weeks I study during nap times and after bedtimes (both Kate's and Josh's). It's hard work, but I have an incredibly supportive husband and baby. Kate some how knows when Momma needs extra time to work on an assignment and the Lord blesses her (and me) with a longer nap time. My prayer for this course has been that any time I have to work on assignments or readings things would get done, even if it's only something small- that all my time would be productive. This program has also helped in my transition from being in the classroom to being at home. I catch myself dreaming of the day when I'll have this "free time" after I've finished the course. I've just finished a class and am 1/3 of the way through the program!

So, there, it's been said. Now when I don't post for a month we all know why, and I will give myself permission to be free of guilt! :)

In saying that I'm going to try to make it up to you by posting a few things over the following week to fill you in on what's been happening here this past month! :)