I'm not sure about how other teachers around the world feel, but it seems like the second semester is busier than the first. Meetings, activities, lesson planning, standardized testing, projects, retreats, and life, oh yeah, and life keeps going. It really feels like the second semester can best be described like this:
Part of the training of a professional teacher is to learn how to stay ahead of the avalanche that's coming on your heels. You're "safe" when the final day of school passes, and you're locking your front door vowing you're not leaving for any reason for the next month.
You may remember last month that I got really, really, REALLY sick. I mean siiiiiiiick. When living in a foreign county it's normal to have frequent tummy problems (*if you're living in a foreign country and experiencing these "issues" daily for weeks or months on end, no it is not normal- go to a doctor, quick!*) We ate at my favorite place in town. I ordered something I had eaten before, just the way I like it. Well early the next morning, I decided, as absolutely everything that was in my body from the past year emptied out, that I was never eating that dish again... ever. That decision was confirmed throughout the entire day during the same situations. I spent the following day agreeing with myself about the previous day's decision as I laid in bed with no energy. After watching hours of movies, sleeping, and nibbling on crackers I had enough energy to teach my classes the following Monday. (Just between you and me, I did NOT have enough energy to make it through the day, I barely made it back home where my pillow met me for the next two hours!) For the following two weeks I was completely exhausted. No energy. Tired. Tired. Tired. That stomach thing wiped me out. Obliterated any amount of a secret stash of energy I had.
I (still) believe I ate something that disagreed with my entire body. I (still) believe that it wiped out all my energy for the following weeks. My body was starting to do other strange things... or maybe I was just beginning to notice. I couldn't believe that it could be true... I woke up at the 3 AM, unable to sleep, and really had to go to the bathroom. I read the directions (so thankful they were in English and Indonesian), sat on the floor (just like in the movies), wondering,"could it really be??? no... it can't be. or could it???" Then lines started to appear. I don't read lines, I read words! I was quite confused... so what do you do when are confused about something? Obviously you take a picture and show it to a friend. duh. (I guess in my case, you eventually show it to the entire world.)
Needless to say, neither one of us could sleep after that moment. I showed my friend, who happens to also serve as a midwife, and I tried to describe the scene to her.
Here's the conversation (the way I remember/interpreted it):
" Yep, it sounds like you're pregnant."
"Are you sure? I have a picture."
"You have a picture? Great! Let me take a look."
After just barely catching a glimpse of the screen, she says," Oh yeah, you are. No doubt."
Crash!!!! That was my jaw hitting the floor, and then imagine a few nonsensical words tumbling out of mouth... but I was thinking," How does she know?? She just glanced... I have been STUDYING every inch of that picture for the past six hours!"
I managed to get "Are you sure?" out.
She answered with a simple smile and "Yes."
It turns out I was about 8 weeks along when we found out. Josh and I both met with her to ask questions and to get information. I felt like I was there, but I wasn't processing anything she was saying to us. I've seen the look before in the eyes of middle school students- they are there, but they're not... We were still in shock. Not because we were disappointed, but woah we are gonna be parents. Just typing that I had a mini-panic attack.
Yesterday we met with her a second time. Twelve weeks, a milestone in the baby developing world. A milestone for me and Josh. We heard our baby's heartbeat for the first time. I hope to never forget that moment. I'm going to attempt to write it here in description, so later years from now when I'm reading back through this I'll laugh and reminisce about this sweet time. We meet with her right after school. We go back to our normal room (do you have a normal room by your second visit?) where we chat about more questions or concerns that have come up in the past month. She says," Okay let's see if we can hear the heartbeat." I basically jumped up onto the examination bed, ready to hear it. My dear sweet husband had more questions, so hearing the heartbeat was tabled for a bit. It was a good discussion that I was only half listening to, because we were about to confirm that I actually was pregnant. There were moments throughout every day when I would question, because I didn't "feel" different. Every symptom I have I could blame it on something else that involves just living overseas. The moment she put that "hear the heartbeat" instrument thingy against my skin, my sense of hearing magnified by a million and I was hearing EVERY noise in the room, across the street, and maybe even across the island... every noise except the heartbeat. I was hearing the clock on the wall pound away the seconds, cars driving around the parking lot, the kids in the waiting room playing with toys, and my blood flowing through my main arteries. Then finally after chasing our little one around, she said," There it is." with a giant smile on her face. Relief. Joy. Happiness. flooded me. Thank you, Lord. Our little one's heartbeat was healthy, strong, and fast- just the way it should be... knowing this increased my heartbeat! Josh had a proud smile on his new daddy face, and I had a smile full of love for this two inch baby that makes me hungry and tired all the time.
We love our little one's heartbeat. Already I pray that our little one's heartbeat would beat healthy, strong, and fast for the Maker who is forming our little one in their momma's womb.
