In that moment everything stopped, and a second later thoughts of his wife and family flooded my mind. What could I do? How could I help? How is Jan? Who is with Heidi?
Even though Josh and I were not close to Bob, we are still impacted by his death. I know I'm processing things because at random moments through my day something will happen that will cause me to think of Jan. Friday night Josh and I went to bed at different times, and I rolled over and saw his side of the bed empty, my heart broke for Jan. His side of the bed will be empty. His smell is still there in every inch of the house. Oh Lord, comfort her in a way only You can.
Life continues on. It must. Some experienced this accident in a more "real", physical way. They are battling in their dreams- replaying what they saw. A psychologist is arriving Tuesday morning to begin the long process of binding up wounds and healing broken hearts. My hope is that sleep will be restored and that the Lord will give His people rest.
Bob's family flew in from all over the world- Africa, America, Thailand. It's amazing to me they were all able to arrive so quickly from the different parts of the world. His grandson had just finished taking his last final of the semester, had no plans for the Easter break, and had just received a wire transfer of funds from his parents that had been sent weeks before. God has done (and continues to do) many amazing things.
During the service, Bob's youngest daughter, Stephanie, eulogized her father. She shared special stories and nicknames that he had given her. It touched my heart to hear her share in both English and Indonesian- the two languages that are closest to her heart. Stephanie gave a challenge- an emotional plea to those gathered at the service.
The cry of her heart was:
Do not quit!
Keep working hard!
There is still SO much work to be done!
The outpouring of what was inside her heart, overflowing from her mouth, splashing over the ears of those who were there was a challenge to keep going. In the midst of her beloved daddy's passing, she has the maturity to put the sudden loss aside, and with clarity remind us of what our purpose here is really all about. I'm still thinking about this challenge days later.
So, yes, we grieve but not as one who has no hope. We know that God has a good plan to reunite believers with Him to spend eternity with Him. We rest and cling to the promises that are found in the Word.
We will continue to process.
We will continue to work.
We will continue to trust.