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Saturday, December 17, 2016

Reverse Culture Shock

“Reverse culture shock is experienced when returning to a place that one expects to be home but actually is no longer, is far more subtle, and therefore, more difficult to manage than outbound shock precisely because it is unexpected and unanticipated,” says Dean Foster, founder and president of DFA Intercultural Global Solutions, a firm that specialises in intercultural training and coaching worldwide. 

Oh, America, you're wonderful. 
Oh, America, you can be overwhelming. 

We've been back in our passport country since the end of July, and we're still adjusting to different things. Some are small and some are big. Here are some quick examples of reverse culture shock that we've experienced. They are in no particular order. 

1. Washington malls and fairs

A can for garbage and a can for recycling. This personally caused me great anxiety each time I had to decide what category my trash fell into. I stood there silently debating which can my cup would go into. Finally, I admitted defeat and just threw the garbage into the closest can and ran away as quick as I could, fearful that someone may be monitoring the cans for correct placement and issuing fines for those incorrect. Even writing about this causes my heart to race a little faster... 

2. Credit Card Chip Readers 

Many stores will now have this lovely (confusing) machine. It once was just swipe your credit card, but now it may be a "chip reader". The day after we landed we went to Wal-Mart. We got a few items that we needed and some that we had missed while we were in Indonesia. The cashier rang up our things and then it was time to pay. We had been in America less than 24 hours. 

The conversation/experience went like this :

Cashier: Does your card have a chip?

Us: Yes
Cashier: Insert your card into the machine...

Us: Ummmm... okay, like this?

Cashier: Yes, like that and leave it in. 

Machine: Beep! Beep! Beep! (Not a nice beep, but a pull your card out or this will explode sound!) 

Us: (Yank the card out of the machine without reading the card reader's instruction that said "Do not remove")

Cashier: Leave your card in. 

Us: (Insert card again)

Machine: Beep! Beep! Beep! 

Us: (Pull card out)

Cashier: Leave. Your. Card. In. The. Machine. 

Us: (Puts card back in- again) 

Machine: Beep! Beep! Beep! 

Us: (stand quietly) Sorry, we literally just got back in the country yesterday and this is new to us. 

Cashier: Ok. 

Guy Behind Us: It's okay, it's still new to us too! 

3. Airplanes and Backpacks:


We've spent a fair amount of time on an airplane. Kate seems quite comfortable on them and probably enjoys the endless supply of snacks and unlimited screen time that comes with just surviving the flight. The other day we took a wrong turn in a familiar area that quickly became unfamiliar due to road construction (also causing stress!). The wrong turn routed us into Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport. Kate had been napping and happened to wake up during this wrong turn. It may have been her parents questioning one another as to which exit to take or maybe she just sensed airplanes being near. Thank the Lord for internet on your phone (also something new to us), and thank the Lord for Google maps (also new to us, last time everyone used GPS stuck to their windshields). On our way out of the airport, Kate began to cry saying she wanted to go to the airport and get on a plane. When we explained that we weren't going flying today, she was really upset. 

The previous week to our adventure through DFW airport, Kate announced that she did *not* want to go to church. I asked her why she didn't want to go to church to play with her friends. 

She replied," I want to go to church in Sentani." 

Sentani is our home in Indonesia. 
Sentani is the only home that Kate knows. 
Sentani is where all her friends, aunts and uncles are. 
Sentani doesn't have cold weather. 

I hugged that little one, who's heart is in two places at one time, and simply said," Me too." 

The next day Kate packed her backpack and announced that she was going on a trip and would be back soon. I asked her where she was going, told her I loved her, and reminded her to be careful. She informed me she was going to Sentani. Be safe! It was a very quick trip and she returned in time for dinner. 

4. Socks and Shoes:

 Wearing socks and shoes is normal for me and Josh, but not for Kate. In Sentani, we wear sandals all the time. Slip on shoes that do not lace up. Shoes that are easy to remove when you arrive at a friend's house before you enter or before you play on the play mat in the church nursery. In America, it's cold! It's not just *getting* the socks and shoes on my 3 year old, but it's encouraging her to *keep* them on. It's not unusual to go on a short ride in the van to open the door and see shoes and socks scattered on the floor in front of her seat. 

So yeah, what's the point? 

I have found myself saying this in my head more times than I can count. 

What's the point of wearing a jacket outside when you're only going from your house, to the van, to some where else? Is it worth the fight? The answer is- it's cold outside. You need a jacket *even if* you feel like it's warm and comfortable inside. 

Honestly, I'm still struggling with the point of wearing socks and shoes... 

The previous examples were small. The US State Department has some helpful documents explaining deeper reverse culture shock topics that I found that we have also faced and are currently working through, even unknowingly. These resources give helpful insites into what those who have lived overseas experience when they return to their passport countries. 

 
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