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Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Helper Tales

One of the “perks” (I say that but there’s a TON of responsibility coupled with this perk as well…) of living in Indonesia is having a house helper. This helper lightens the load of a stressful new world. In a world where there is no dryer, the floor constantly needs to be swept and mopped, and the best place to buy produce is at the open air market (which sounds dreamy if you support local growers/farmer markets, but the reality of the pasar leaves much to be desired) your house helper will help keep you sane. However in some cases, the house helper will have a role in you going crazy. I could continue, but that is not the topic of this post today.

At the beginning of October, our helper announced that she and her three kids were going to be reunited with her husband in a different city on the other side of the province. I was so excited for her! It had been three years since they had last seen him. Now these babies were going to get be with their daddy. It’s a beautiful thing. She brought a friend to replace her as our helper. That friend’s older brother had a stroke and she needed to help at her home. Yes, family first. I told her. Another friend brought over a perspective house helper, who really seemed like she would be perfect. She went straight to Kate, who happily sat in her lap. However, this woman’s husband didn’t want her working outside of the home. So here we are. Tomorrow will be November and we haven’t had a helper for almost a month. We’re making it, but again this is not the topic of this post.

Before we went back to America to officially meet Baby Kate face to face, we had a wonderful, hard working, faithful helper named Ibu Misty. She was a Muslim woman who grew up in Java and moved to Papua with her husband, who is a taxi driver and helps in a local mechanic shop.  A few months before we left, Misty was bit by the neighbor’s dog and took a long time to recover. Two weeks before we left for America, she suggested she take some time off to rest and recover. When we returned to Papua in March, Misty was in Java. When I got word that she had returned, I also got word that she started working for another family from Java.

I was really starting to wonder about this house helper situation. Is it me? Am I asking too much? Am I paying too little? Should I talk more? Should I just get out of the way and let them work? It was easy to take other’s personal situations and make them about me- Did that really happen or do they just not want to work here? Left unchecked these thoughts can lead one into a dark, sad place. In the middle of this internal fight with myself, two previous helpers randomly called to see if they could come by and visit.

One sweet lady worked for us while we were temporarily staying in a colleague’s house. She stopped by on Saturday morning, and hot on her trail was Ibu Misty and her family. That was the first time I had seen Misty since our return, and it was her first time to meet Kate. Kate lit up when she saw and heard Ibu Misty’s voice. She smiled and walked all around the room laughing. I told Misty that Kate remembered her voice from when I was pregnant with her, and we all laughed. It was so nice to visit with these two women, both of whom I consider to be friends. Tears came to my eyes with the joy that was being stored up in my heart. These two visits, although short, were reminders that it’s not me. It was medicine that reached those dark, sad places and pulled back the curtains and shed some light in there. It was soooooooooo good to hug Misty’s neck, to see how big her grandson was getting, and to visit with her sweet daughters.

 

We miss her.

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