Lost and Found

Think back to your childhood. What was something that went with you wherever you went? What was something that you always had in bed with you when it was time to go to sleep? Maybe some of you never had something like that. Maybe some of us STILL have something special like that. For me, it's a quilt that my Little Grandma made me when I was a young girl. I'm not even sure how old I was when she gave it to me. That quilt has been to every country/state/church camp/college dorm room/house/road trip/airplane ride/hospital I've ever been to! The only person I will share that quilt with is Kate... and I haven't had to do that yet and [thankfully] she hasn't asked!

Kate has Ms. Cow. Ms. Cow was given to her by Big Grandma (aka Big G or Big Maw). Ms. Cow was a friend to Kate as she hung out in her butterfly chair bouncing away. She kept Kate company while drinking milk. She would roll around on the floor with Kate during tummy time. She was even lucky enough to get some sweet bedtime snuggles in. Ms. Cow even helped Kate struggle through jetlag by blocking out the sun so Kate could sleep! I mean, seriously, what a friend!

 

Then it happened.

 

When we returned from Singapore.

 

It happened.

 

Where is she? Where is Ms. Cow?

 

I think I was more upset than Kate. Honestly, I don't think she even noticed Ms. Cow was missing. We put out a BOLO (Be On the Look Out) for Ms. Cow. We asked our helper to keep an eye out too. Nothing. She was no where to be found. I thought we would have to ask for a second Ms. Cow to replace the first. So, I grieved the loss of Ms. Cow.

 

Then it happened.

 

Months later...

 

When I was changing the sheets on Kate's bed.

 

It happened.

 

A soft pink and white blanket thing peeked out at me from underneath the mattress.

 

Could it be??!!

 

It was! It was her! I grabbed her and called sweet Kate into her room. That reunion of two old friends was nothing short of beautiful. Kate's eyes LIT up. She grabbed her friend around the neck and held onto her. My Momma heart knows that kind of hug- you know, the hug between two loved ones who haven't seen each other in a long while, you never want to let go. Kate then took Ms. Cow on a quick tour to introduce her to all the changes that had happened while she was away. Kate was thrilled to have her sahabat (Indonesian for close friend) back. The two have been inseparable since. Ms. Cow normally stays in Kate's bed and anticipates naptimes and bedtime, but often Kate will break her out and the two explore the house together.

 

 

I know it's something small, but it was special to find Ms. Cow. So she was once lost, but now is found!

 



Helper Tales

One of the “perks” (I say that but there’s a TON of responsibility coupled with this perk as well…) of living in Indonesia is having a house helper. This helper lightens the load of a stressful new world. In a world where there is no dryer, the floor constantly needs to be swept and mopped, and the best place to buy produce is at the open air market (which sounds dreamy if you support local growers/farmer markets, but the reality of the pasar leaves much to be desired) your house helper will help keep you sane. However in some cases, the house helper will have a role in you going crazy. I could continue, but that is not the topic of this post today.

At the beginning of October, our helper announced that she and her three kids were going to be reunited with her husband in a different city on the other side of the province. I was so excited for her! It had been three years since they had last seen him. Now these babies were going to get be with their daddy. It’s a beautiful thing. She brought a friend to replace her as our helper. That friend’s older brother had a stroke and she needed to help at her home. Yes, family first. I told her. Another friend brought over a perspective house helper, who really seemed like she would be perfect. She went straight to Kate, who happily sat in her lap. However, this woman’s husband didn’t want her working outside of the home. So here we are. Tomorrow will be November and we haven’t had a helper for almost a month. We’re making it, but again this is not the topic of this post.

Before we went back to America to officially meet Baby Kate face to face, we had a wonderful, hard working, faithful helper named Ibu Misty. She was a Muslim woman who grew up in Java and moved to Papua with her husband, who is a taxi driver and helps in a local mechanic shop.  A few months before we left, Misty was bit by the neighbor’s dog and took a long time to recover. Two weeks before we left for America, she suggested she take some time off to rest and recover. When we returned to Papua in March, Misty was in Java. When I got word that she had returned, I also got word that she started working for another family from Java.

I was really starting to wonder about this house helper situation. Is it me? Am I asking too much? Am I paying too little? Should I talk more? Should I just get out of the way and let them work? It was easy to take other’s personal situations and make them about me- Did that really happen or do they just not want to work here? Left unchecked these thoughts can lead one into a dark, sad place. In the middle of this internal fight with myself, two previous helpers randomly called to see if they could come by and visit.

One sweet lady worked for us while we were temporarily staying in a colleague’s house. She stopped by on Saturday morning, and hot on her trail was Ibu Misty and her family. That was the first time I had seen Misty since our return, and it was her first time to meet Kate. Kate lit up when she saw and heard Ibu Misty’s voice. She smiled and walked all around the room laughing. I told Misty that Kate remembered her voice from when I was pregnant with her, and we all laughed. It was so nice to visit with these two women, both of whom I consider to be friends. Tears came to my eyes with the joy that was being stored up in my heart. These two visits, although short, were reminders that it’s not me. It was medicine that reached those dark, sad places and pulled back the curtains and shed some light in there. It was soooooooooo good to hug Misty’s neck, to see how big her grandson was getting, and to visit with her sweet daughters.

 

We miss her.

A Momma's Cry

Most days after 4 PM, Kate and I go outside to visit with the neighborhood kids. If we aren't out by 4:30 and the gate is closed, the kids will stand in the street calling Kate's name. If the gate is open, they come to the front door and sit at the window and call her name. Kate's face lights up when she hears her friends calling her name. She runs to the window and will "talk" back to them. I'll grab my shoes, and we head outside to visit.

The girl next door and her brother take off with Kate to play- to help her walk around and the brother always makes her laugh. I stay and chat with the other mommas. Often I'm just there, not really understanding the topic of conversation. Sometimes I join in, and the pace of the conversation slows waaaaaay down to a speed that I can handle. It's not uncommon for strangers to stop and say hi to Kate or ask for a photo- she doesn't seem to mind the extra attention.

One day while out playing with the kids on the cement place where they ride their bikes, I was stopped by a young momma named Agnes. Agnes lives in our neighborhood, but I had never seen her before. She asked about Kate's age. As we began to share briefly about our babies, I could hear her heart's cry. Her baby, who at that time was 3 months old, was not eating or sleeping well. This poor momma wanted sleep and a baby who didn't cry all night long. The "pre-Kate" Amber didn't understand the significance of the term "all night", but "post-Kate" Amber who has travelled internationally with a young baby now resonates and empathizes with that term. Agnes was concerned that her baby wasn't nursing well and wasn't getting enough food to eat. My momma's heart ached for her. So, I contacted my friend, Fiona, who is a midwife here. Fiona was the first person to catch a glimpse of Kate's heartbeat, which eventually capture the rhythm of my own heartbeat. Fiona cares about mommas and babies, so I knew to contact her. We arranged a date with Agnes to come visit her and see how we could help, and by "we" I really mean Fiona.

We were welcomed into their home and visited with a hard working momma who entrusted her baby with a grandma during the day. They were concerned because after the baby would eat, he would still cry. They were unsure if this was due to still being hungry or having an upset tummy. He cries during the night, and they were unsure why. Fiona urged them to hold the baby and feed the baby when he cries. We tried to explain the term "colic" in Indonesian... the dictionary translator app didn't really help in this situation. The baby was actually healthy- he looked quite "healthy" to me, but Fiona encouraged sweet Agnes that her baby was healthy. Fiona calmed that anxious momma's heart with her gently words but firm instructions. She educated Agnes and her momma about signals that babies give when they're tired and the importance of holding a baby to comfort them when they cry. I realized then how fortunate I was to have loads of books to read, websites to visit, or doctors to ask questions about Kate's development when she was inside me or how do I feed her solid foods or WHY does she stick EVERYTHING in her mouth? Women here have very little to no access to common information.

We gave Agnes goat's milk and gas drops for her baby to drink. A few days later, Agnes said her baby was sleeping better and didn't seem to have an upset tummy. That must mean that Agnes is sleeping better too.

Baby Kate has opened up many doors, but so far that has been the most personal one.

Agnes and Fiona

Agnes and Fiona

Agnes, Grandmomma, and Baby

This shot and many like it were taken by the Grandma who had never used a camera like that before!

Agnes, Amber, and Happy Babies