First Birthday Pressure

Hi, my name is Amber. I live in a country that celebrates with a HUGE party the first year of life. Restaurants are rented out, sound systems are set up, cakes are made, goodie bags are given, families go all. out. Presents are given to the guests.

Hi, my name is Amber. I am from a country that celebrates life with small get togethers with close friends and family. Presents are given to the birthday boy/girl. We have cake, we sing a song, and the kids play. You can find everything you need at Walmart.

So here I am. The Amber who lives next door to people who call out to Kate every afternoon to play. The Amber who wants to show them I care about them by including them in my life. But I find I'm also the Amber who doesn't know how to throw a big party for a one year old, who won't remember it but I'm sure will enjoy the photos. I'm the Amber who wants things to be easy and with little or no hassle or effort.

It's hard to believe that Baby Kate will be a year old next weekend. It all seems like it was yesterday, but then when I think of yesterday I never thought I'd get to today- not sure if that makes sense. Some days went by so quickly, other days (and some nights) dragged on for what seemed like eternity. She's a sweet girl. She is constantly laughing, exploring, and what blesses my heart to no end is the way she'll reach out to a light skinned Indonesian or a dark skinned Papuan. That makes my heart overflow with joy to the point where it wells up and starts to spill out of my eyes! She doesn't see color or differences, she sees people and she loves them. She doesn't judge them. Who knew how a hard faced person could crack a huge smile because of the love of a small girl. It's beautiful.

So we'll celebrate. We'll celebrate who God is creating Kate to be, how He has formed her and shaped her since before we knew her, and we'll celebrate with friends, family (from far away), and neighbors. Will it look like either culture expects? Probably not. Am I okay with that? Yes. I'm cutting myself some slack here. The pressure I'm feeling to be that creative mommy who can post ridiculous photos to pinterest to spark creativity in someone else- I just need to accept the reality that that illusion isn't me, and most likely never will be me.

I need to be free to love Josh, Kate, and those around me in a way that I'm capable of doing, not living beneath the burden that this world or culture expects of me.

Pictures to come later of this celebration of 1 year.