In Memory of Sachi Annabelle Hermanto

"Yes, it is different. We do this so we will remember. We do not want to forget them."

One of the quickest way to learn about the heart of the culture you are living in is to go to a funeral. This is not the first funeral we have attended, but it's the one that has left us the most unsettled- many questions of "Why?" have been voiced in our house the past few days.

Sachi (means God's grace) Annabelle was born on Sunday evening to Willy and Sari. She came two months early and was very, very small. She could not breathe on her own and was immediately placed in an incubator. Her fight lasted less than two days. By Tuesday morning, the struggle ended.

Indonesians will bury within 12-24 hours of a death. I think they do this for religious reasons, but living in the tropics seems to speed up the natural process of death. The burial is usually done on the same day as the death itself. The family will open up their home and visitors can come to pay their respects to the family and the lost loved one. The home is recognized by the color of flag that is out front. A white flag means a Muslim has died, and a black flag means a Christian has died.

This is the home of Pak Willy and Ibu Sari.

The casket is fully opened, and you can see the entire body of the person. The baby was beautiful. Her face looked so peaceful, and her outfit was so precious and tiny on her little body. Her mother and father (Ibu Sari and Pak Willy) look on while others pay their respects. It is custom to come inside the house, shake everyone's hand, look at the body, and sit in chairs that surround the room. Some will take pictures of the body with their camera phones. As my friend told me- We don't want to forget them.

This is Sachi's grave marker. The dates are written month/day/year.

After that you go to sit in the chairs that our outside where you wait for the service to begin. We sang songs and heard a message reminding us of God's authority and power. He never makes a mistake. He did this so we would believe that He has ultimate authority. For some reason it's much easier to hear this message when things are all okay, but in the midst of death and sadness it's more difficult to accept this message.

When the service ends we gather in cars and motorcycles to bring the body to the gravesite. The motorcycles lead the way honking and waving the black flags; the car bringing the casket follows, and other cars carrying friends and family bring up the rear.

The funeral procession from the motorcycle

The casket is carried to the burial site and is placed over the hole. We gathered around and heard a reminder that Christ's resurrection ensures that all believers will be reunited through resurrection after their death. We have hope that we will see baby Sachi again. Her parents tossed beautiful tropical flower petals on top of her casket. The casket was lowered into the ground and buried, while we watched.

Willy and Sari are the the young couple next to the tree.

I was standing next to an Indonesian friend. I explained to her that in American culture the family leaves the graveside so it can be lowered into the ground and buried. The family doesn't hear the dirt hitting the top of the casket. That sound will stay with a person. She said,"Yes, it is different, but we know this is the last time we will be with them and we don't want to forget. We don't want to forget them."

After the casket was buried, wreathes made from paper were placed on top of the grave. This is the equivalent to sending flowers. I think that because the burial happens so quickly, it is easier to have something made from paper instead of fresh flowers. The procession then returns to their cars and go back to the home of the mourning. The family and close friends will share a meal together.

We pray for God's peace over Ibu Sari and Pak Willy. They have a little boy who is a little more than a year old. Pray that the Spirit will fill that emptiness in their hearts. I pray that they will cry, grieve, and mourn in whatever way they need to. He knows each tear that falls. May the Spirit never be far from them in the days ahead.