Certainty in the Unknown

Our original plan when we returned to the States was to visit various specialists to determine the cause of my Horner's Syndrome and to get some relief with my sinuses. Months before our return emails were sent scheduling an appointment with a neuro-ophthalmologist and several documents were hand carried from Indonesia to their Seattle office. The day after we landed we discovered we were expecting a baby! This was a gigantic surprise and completely shifted our entire furlough plan. All diagnostic testing had to be delayed until after the baby's arrival.

Here we are 6 weeks after Allison's healthy arrival, and we have started to wade our way though various doctor visits. More appointments were set months ago to get this ball rolling again. This week I have had an MRI, 4 small cavities filled (with a laser beam... that's no joke!), chiropractic care (because maybe this could help with they symptoms of Horner's), and my 6 weeks postpartum appointment. Next week I have a CT scan, more chiropractic care, an appointment with an allergist, and probably some follow ups with the various diagnostic tests. 

I've been asked if I'm nervous about all the appointments. I'm not nervous or anxious unless a needle is involved. The MRI was done with contrast, so I had an IV in during the hour I was in "the tube". The warm blanket and easy listening music, which blocked the sound of the machine made that experience as enjoyable as that procedure can be. 

Honestly, I am certain in the midst of the unknown. I have no idea what MRI or CT scan results will show. I have no idea what next steps look like- surgery? physical therapy? or nothing? Maybe there's nothing that can be done. There are too many uncertainties, so I choose to focus on what is known and certain. 

Here is what I'm certain of:

-God will provide. He has in the past, so I will not doubt current or future provision. 

-I have peace... unless there are needles, then I get wiggly.  

-We have insurance. Medical care is expensive. I'm thankful we have insurance, which lightens some of the financial burden of all the expenses. 

-We (are hopeful we) will know more of my current health condition than we did prior to these tests. We are hoping for clear next steps.

-God is with me. None of this is uncertain to Him.